Some say ...

a grieving heart

I recently lost someone who was very dear and near to me.

It was sudden. It was a shock.

I had never imagined losing them. Even as they aged.

Even though I know death to be the one constant in life.

Words can not convey the intricate ways they shaped me.

They can not convey how much their love means to me. Ever.

Words fall short. Even though I turn to them in my grief.

A few days after their passing, I wrote what I have shared below.

I share it so that I may open myself to you, in my grief.

I share it so that you may touch your own grief, through mine.

I share it … because I must.

May it be droplets of love that fall gently upon all who are grieving.

May it be a tender balm for all those who feel lost.

May we find one another.

Again. And again. And Again.

Love,
Emma

–

Some people say that this time is all we have. This time inside our skin and bones. Rattling around in a thought filled mind. Searching for the peace filled body. Some say that when the beating heart stops, there’s nothing left but nothing.

But the birds whispered to me otherwise. The trees called out my name. They asked me to reach around what others say. They asked me to search for my own knowing in the twilight of my days.

So now, in the moments of the after of your death, while I heave with sorrow and feel the pain of your absence. My heart has now been trained to seek and find the tethers that remain.

The you that could never be lost. The you that weaves through the starlit sky. That dances on the sun’s rays. That soars and flutters and flaps and swims. As all the creatures do, in the marvel of this thing called life. The you that falls through the clutter of these words, until you find your resting place, inside the caverns of our hearts.

I feel you laughing. I feel your joy. I feel your arms wrapping around me. I feel the freedom of your spirit, now waging love with a world that is so much bigger than us all. My everything beats with gratitude for your living. The ways you touched our lives in a blanketing calm. In a boisterous laugh. In the might of your life and the beauty of your song.

—

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